Embassy Lament

[CIVIL SERVANTS]
Oh my dear, how boring
He's defecting
Just like all the others
He's expecting
Us to be impressed (With)
What (he's)
Done (here)
But (He)
Hasn't stopped to think about the paperwork
His gesture causes
We've an embassy to run here

If these people can't strike blows for freedom
With a valid visa
We don't need 'em
If we seem off-hand then
Please remember this
Is nothing very special
He's the fourth we've had since last November
Who do these foreign chappies think they are

And when he's
Safely in the west he'll be the hero to discuss
The media will lionise him
Fame and Fortune plus
No-one will recall it's thanks to us

Have you an appointment with the consul
If you don't we know what his response'll be
He will not see you
With respect it
Buggers
Up his very taxing schedule
Pushing peace and understanding
Let us hope this won't affect it
Far too many jokers cross the border
Not a single document in order
Russia must be empty
Though we're all for basic
Human rights it makes you wonder what they built the Berlin Wall for
Who do these foreign chappies think they are

And when you've
Filled in all the forms
And been passed clear of all disease
Debriefed, debugged, dedrugged, disarmed and disinfected, please
Don't forget the guys who cut your keys