When You're Evil

When the devil is too busy
And death's a bit too much
They call on me
My name you see
For my special touch

To the gentleman I'm misfortune
To the ladies I'm surprise
But call me by any name
Anyway it's all the same

I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed
I'm the bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm the pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see
The devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
You're tears are the pay I'll ever need

While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
While there's pockets left to pick
While there's Grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there
I'll be waiting 'round the corner
It's a game
I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see
The devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
You're tears are all the pay I'll ever need

I pledge
My allegiance
To all things dark and I
Promise some my damned soul
To
Do as I am told
For
Beelzebub has never seen
A soldier quite like me
Who not only does his job
But does it happily

I'm the fear that keeps you wake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm the dagger in your back
An extra turn upon the rack
I'm the whimpering of your heart
A sudden pain
A stabbing start

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see
The devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free

You're tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

It gets so lonely being evil
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while
And no one loves you when you're evil
I'm lying through my teeth
Your tears are all the company I need

When the devil is too busy
And Death's a bit too much
They call on me
My name you see
For my special touch

To the gentleman I'm misfortune
To the ladies I'm surprise
But call me by any name
Anyway it's all the same

I'm the fly in your soup
I'm the pebble in your shoe
I'm the pea beneath your bed
I'm the bump on every head
I'm the peel on which you slip
I'm the pin in every hip
I'm the thorn in your side
Makes you wriggle and writhe

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see
The devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
You're tears are the pay I'll ever need

While there's children to make sad
While there's candy to be had
While there's pockets left to pick
While there's grannies left to trip down the stairs
I'll be there
I'll be waiting 'round the corner
It's a game
I'm glad I'm in it
'Cause there's one born every minute

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see
The devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free
You're tears are all the pay I'll ever need

I pledge
My allegiance
To all things dark and I
Promise some my damned soul
To
Do as I am told
For
Beelzebub has never seen
A soldier quite like me
Who not only does his job
But does it happily

I'm the fear that keeps you wake
I'm the shadows on the wall
I'm the monsters they become
I'm the nightmare in your skull
I'm the dagger in your back
An extra turn upon the rack
I'm the whimpering of your heart
A sudden pain
A stabbing start

And it's so easy when you're evil
This is the life you see
The devil tips his hat to me
I do it all because I'm evil
And I do it all for free

You're tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all for free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need
And I do it all free
Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need

It gets so lonely being evil
What I'd do to see a smile
Even for a little while
And no one loves you when you're evil
I'm lying through my teeth
Your tears are all the company I need