Nice Iced Pavement (Parody of ”Ice Ice Baby”)

Yo, see my tree!
It's Christmas!

Nice iced pavement
Nice iced pavement

All-night shopping – I had to take a list in
Ice is packed on my windshield – it glistens
Some kid said the roads will be icy
Closed up the shop when I paid and left light speed
Will this weather stop? Yo, I don’t know
Scrape off the ice – it won't go!
Through the extremes I walk on ice ‘cause my van won't
Start up -- it seems I need a jump or I can’t go
And – I'm wearin' sneakers not boots
They're fillin' with rain looks like I'm going to be slush soon
Lovely – man, my baby toe's killin' me
And I didn’t dress to the best of my ability
Rough or leave it – you bet I can’t stay
The weather is cold out and it's no sleigh
Guess I’ve got a problem – no one saw it
Just have to hope for a heat wave to thaw it

Nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really

Now, I'll get my battery jumpin'
Triple A checks in but I think he's not comin’
Says there's no point in appointment makin'
“Look at them streets, guy, the plows can't take it
Minimum of a six-hour window”
I go crazy when I hear that info
I hide that – what a screwed-up trip, though
I wanna roll – it's time to throw snowballs
Throwin' maybe five or so
So my rage stopped now but my hands just froze
Don't really understand why I'm waitin' just to pray, right?
Did you start? No, I just nosedived
Slipped on a sewer grate I stepped on
I bust my lip and now my head is oozin' red stuff
I talked with God, yo, and I continued to
Pray and pray
Different attitude!

Nerves were shot, but I'm blessed, yes indeedy
Often troubles drive a man who's needy
To Jesus
‘Cause about then I find
A manger display and I knew it was a sign
Ready for a jump after all
I jump like Jack-be-nimble ‘cause I'm full of faith, y'all
From God – sprang up like a well
I grab my side ‘cause I hurt myself
Falling on the concrete feels bad
But something bizarre – came out of that
Suffered some bumps there, I have a bruised back
I'm tryin' to find my way back home but I feel jacked
But peaceful and serene – you know what I mean?
And that's enough -- I'm lovin' all the snow scenes
If I got some problems, yo, He'll solve ‘em
Just have to look how He keeps Earth revolvin'

Nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really

Make heat ‘cause I'm a really cold poet
My head has lost some steam from encasing it in snow, it's
Like mounds of mashed potatoes on my face now
I'd love to take and stick coals on the ground
If it sounds like I'm cynical still
People, my disposition is chill
But tucked in and warm with the help of a compress
Would make it nice --- with a ton of gifts
Christmas displays guide my way
Lights that can singe ya
What? That's my neighbor's place!
So glad – on the street I just ran
You're right; that was dumb -- I fell on ice again
Remind me, won't ya, that it's time to get boots
But tonight's not the night while I sip my soup
With those other problems, yo, He'll solve ‘em
Just got me home now -- He'll be there for all of ‘em

Nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really nice iced pavement
A really

Snow, man, let's get out of here
Worst weather ever!

Nice iced payment – too cold
Nice iced payment – too cold, too cold
Nice iced payment – too cold, too cold
Nice iced payment – too cold, too cold

Under the weather
Under the weather
Weather, weather