Alice's Adventures Under Ground: “When You Get To The Eighth Square, You’ll Be A Queen”

Gerald Barry

The Red Queen: (to Alice) When you get to the Eighth Square you'll be a Queen

(They begin to run hand in hand)

The Red Queen: (Shout) Faster! Don't try to talk! Faster! Faster!

Alice: (out of breath) Are we nearly there?

The Red Queen: (Amazed) Nearly there!? We passed it ten minutes ago!!
(viciously!) Faster!

(The wind whistles in Alice's ears, almost blowing the hair off her head)

The Red Queen: Faster! Faster! Now! Now! Now!
Don' try to talk!
(Shout) Tais Toi! Tais Toi! Now! Now!
Noooooooooow!
Faster! Faster!

Alice: Are we nearly there?

The Red Queen: Now! Now! Now!
Faster! Faster! Faster! Faster!
Now! Now!
Rest!
At the end of two yards, (puts a peg to mark the distance), I shall give you your directions have another biscuit
At the end of three yards I shall repeat them for fear of your forgetting them
At the end of four, I shall say good-bye, and at the end of five, I shall go

(She'd put all the pegs in by this time, and Alice looks on as she returns to the tree, and then begins slowly walking down the row. At the two-yard peg she turns round and says:)

The Red Queen: A pawn goes two squares in its first move, so you'll go very quickly through the Third Square by railway, and you'll find yourself in the Fourth Square in no time
That square belongs to Tweedledum and Tweedledee the Fifth is mostly water the Sixth belongs to Humpty Dumpty
The Seventh Square is all forest however, one of the knights will show you the way and in the Eighth Square we shall be Queens together

(At the next peg the Queen turned again, and said:)

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