THIS ROOM
TWENTY TWO:
At 22 it's all in my hands
I'm moving to the rhythm of a plan
God is a woman, I believe
And hard as I may try it's not up to me
5000 feet up in the clouds flying planes
Nobody for miles that could call me
Graduated top 15 but those jobs are not in my range
Coming to terms with that I gotta do it's not what I had
(Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah)
NAIVE
Thought
I done thought of it all
I been visualizing my future
Look at the crowd
I sold it out
My father not gone be too happy when I speak my heart
I promise him that I'd get a job after this and put the music to the side
But something inside me just been awakened and I can't go and let that shit die
My Dada been told me that I was disgracing him
I had to let that shit slide
Cause my family history run by the fear
And lately I been looked that man in the mirror in his eyes
Cause I know in my heart they not gone like what I decide
And I see my future it look so bright for me
FLORIDA
Okay
Yelling in my household
Crying then I'm out cold
Mama Daddy split up twice them pieces never matched good
Pressing buttons so precise that cut deep we got scalpels
But when I needed support I could get it just like Apple
Growing up I was a perfect candidate for doctor, lawyer, engineer
Decided I was not gone do that okay now get it clear
I told my mom I had to go to 615 to get the flow
Met NLE, gassed up by Russ and feel like God is with the boy, ya heard?
SING ALOUD
Tire tracks on a yellow brick road
All paths end in Tennessee
Lovesick memories of a home
Pray a song will be the cure for me
But I hope you sing out loud every time I come back
Keep up with the stories I’m writing out west
Lazy saturdays in your house when you’re resting
I know that you’re worried I’ll never be my best
THIS ROOM
In a tiny room, far from glamorous
Very soon after dipping out to Tennessee to make this move
In a friend's extra room, delivering peoples food
I see visions of bigger and better views yeah
Quiet moments, the voices of family fade
And I'm happy
Morning jogs keep me sane, though I skipped a few
Budgeting like every dollar that I get
Finding joy and making it through
Praising God that I made it to this point
SORRY
On my worst days my eyes are vacant
Seeing shame on all of my family's faces
My dad won't say it but we've been changing
He said "good luck on the music go get famous"
He said I'm sorry
Not everything's your way all the time
All the time
Oohooh
DUNNO
Knowing me now
They don’t be knowing me now
Knowing me know
They don’t be knowing me
Once I dipped from the city
I made a post and they got offended, yeah
Seen I’m going for gold and doing the most and they want me chill it out
How you gone say that you want me to get a million
Should’ve wanted nothing but to get the okay just to go out and get it
Heart is in tatters, hard not to feel it now
METEMPSYCHOSIS
Metempsychosis
Rebirth is inside the mind
I wonder where hope is
Perspective's so hard to find
(The shit that mattered before doesn't matter now, Now I care about shit that I didn't care about)
I don't know where I'm going where I've come from
All of that fades as I'm older in time
Wonder if I know the core of my life
LOST IN IT
Often in thought, peep how I’m caught in em
When I part with my art I hope they get lost in it
I had this talk with my father
He couldn’t stop telling me to get over this
Moments I wish I didn’t have the love of this in me
It’s easy to get a job cause that’s just how they built me
Driving an Uber to pay for my bills
Whenever I scroll all my classmates got shit that I could’ve had
If I was somewhere and ignoring my instincts
But I swear that it wouldn’t last
I’ve been having these thoughts that I should unpack
But I know I’m worthy of all of that
I swear it’s R up in my heart
I keep it PG for my friends
But I can’t shake the feeling lately I’m gone be here for a second
NANI
“If you work hard, you can come up again and again and again”
Nana drove a taxi, scrubbing bathrooms that were nasty
Nani pregnant, half a day off every week but kept it classy
Dadi Dada had the store
They all sacrificed it to have me
This why Mama pay me weekly told me not to tell my Daddy
All so I could follow dreams and have opportunity gladly
It’s pressure upon my shoulders but giants I stand on have me
So damned if I don’t work harder than everybody who’s rapping
If I don’t make it in this then I disappointed the family
“This was our story”
TWENTY THREE
Birthday happy birthday 23rd
I always knew I’d have to take a shot to make it work
I know i stress my dad out, we all get what we deserve
Cause he did the same when he was my age
I’m not the first
Last year I was home
Now I’m living on my own
In a house full of stoners and you know that I don’t smoke
Going against my programming if I’m being honest
I got signs if I jump then I could get it popping
One thing I know is I’m ready for the life I wanted
READJUSTING
I thought I’d be famous by the time November came and I was nowhere
Hard for me to justify another year of falling, I caught no air
But I jumped off the edge
And it’s hard for me to save face in front of my parents friends
Hold me I’m coming down
Jumped off the edge
And this regular life shit got me upside down
Will you stay with me?
I’m readjusting