Funny Letters from Camp
Hello Muddah, hello Faddah
Here I am at Camp Grenada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining
I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got Ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner
All the counsellors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses
Now I don't want this should scare ya
But my bunkmate has Malaria
You remember Jeffery Hardy
They're about to organize a searching party
Take me home, oh Muddah, Faddah
Take me home, I hate Grenada
Don't leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear
Take me home, I promise I will
Not make noise, or mess the house with
Other boys, oh please don't make me stay
I've been here one whole day
Dearest Fadduh, darling Muddah
How's my precious little bruddah
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me
Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that's bettah
Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this letter
Hello muddah, hello fadduh
I am back at Camp Grenada
And I'm writing you this letter
Just to say my compound fracture's getting better
No one here knows where my trunk is
And my bunk is where the skunk is
And the food this year's improving
All the little black things in it are not moving
Our camp nurse is quite a swimmer
She says swimming makes you slimmer
Her name's Mrs. Pellagrini
Have you ever seen a whale in a bikini?
All the bathrooms have such thin doors
Gee I'd wish they'd move them indoors
We're all tired of Mother Goose here
So next Friday night they're having Lenny Bruce here
Let me stay, oh muddah, fadduh
Let me stay I love Grenada
Every night the campfire's really keen
Oh ma please send some unguintine
Let me stay, out here in
Muddah nature's land
And tiptoe through the tulips grand
To leave would be a shame
Besides, I'd miss the poker game
Please don't worry, fadduh, muddah
I'll take care of little brudduh
He plays ball here and he rows here
And I hope they teach him how to blow his nose here
He wakes up half past six hand
Goes directly to the quicksand
He was lonely, now he's better
He's like all of us except his bed is wetter