Monster Mashed Peas

I was kicked off of the track team, I never learned to run
Somehow by walking slowly, I caught up to anyone
Oozing intimidation, I personified fear
Lately I’ve been slowing down with walkers and electric wheel chairs

So there I was, incontinence and gloom
I can’t remember the way back to my room
Diagnosed with psychosis and organ cirrhosis
I’m only coughing phlegm when I used to breathe doom

There’s no lotion in the basket, I used it on my skin
To try to fix these liver spots; I outgrew my skin suits again
The freezer’s gone empty, I can’t do the chainsaw dance
The family’s getting hungrier, and today’s youths don’t drive vans

My fangs have gotten brittle, I can’t turn into a bat
Had to buy a larger cape, to cover my hunching back
I once knew how to hypnotize, now I have my doubts
Afraid to sleep with the coffin shut, I might not make it out

I’ve grown deaf, with cataracts the full moon’s not so bright
No one hears my hoarse yelps when I try to howl at night
It’s hard to kill anything but time at this antiquated age
My bowels always giving me fits, too tired for fits of rage
I used to fill your dreams
Nightmares on the silver screen
Now I am lucky to get a pity scream
I can’t give it up
This is all I am
The downside of eternal life, the aging of the damned